I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
