You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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