I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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