My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
