yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
