i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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