i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize