We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
