just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
