drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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