i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
