I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
