I wish I could teleport
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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