he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize