This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I will be naked everywhere
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
