You made me cry and you don't even care
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Having a random hookup so left but love u
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
