another moral hangover. fuck.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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