Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize