even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
