I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So many bounce houses so little time
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
