Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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