if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
