I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
