I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize