Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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