What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
