Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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