Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
