i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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