I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
