Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
