FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
