i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
