I am in a vortex of obligation.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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