Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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