so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
