Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just cropdusted the office
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize