She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
