Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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