it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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