you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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