i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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