You made me cry and you don't even care
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
