dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
