the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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