I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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