So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize