After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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