I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
