barbara walters just said penis...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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