I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize