You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
