He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Houston, we have a blender
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize