this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well most of my day revolves around power hour
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
