help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
