So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
