I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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