you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
