Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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