i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
