she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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