is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
