Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
